1. Wake up - ½ cup

2. Get dogs out of bed/room to let Her sleep more- ½ cup

3. Make coffee for Her - 1 cup

4. Bring coffee back to bedroom & put on Her nightstand - let rest

5. Stare and think how peaceful She is when She sleeps - stir emotions

6. Come back into kitchen and make own coffee - 1 cup

7. Drink a sip, burning tongue - let cool

8. Leave coffee cup somewhere - let cool some more

9. Admire sunrise - full cup

10. Find serenity - full cup

11. She wakes up - add beauty to full bowl, stir emotions carefully

12. Make breakfast, catch glances of Her while she is not looking - bring to boil

13. Serve Her breakfast, watch Her glow - add love to pot

Stir carefully until finished product smells of Hope, Dreams, and Beautiful.

Enjoy!

Diagnostic Criteria:

A. Depressed mood for most of the day, for more days than not, as indicated by either subjective account or observation by others, for at least 2 years. Note: In children and adolescents, mood can be irritable and duration must be at least 1 year.

B. Presence, while depressed, of two (or more) of the following:

1. Poor appetite or overeating.

2. Insomnia or hypersomnia.

3. Low energy or fatigue.

4. Low self-esteem.

5. Poor concentration or difficulty making decisions.

6. Feelings of hopelessness.

C. During the 2-year period (1 year for children or adolescents) of the disturbance, the individual has never been without the symptoms in Criteria A and B for more than 2 months at a time.

D. Criteria for a major depressive disorder may be continuously present for 2 years.

E. There has never been a manic episode or a hypomanie episode, and criteria have never been met for cyclothymic disorder.

F. The disturbance is not better explained by a persistent schizoaffective disorder, schizophrenia, delusional disorder, or other specified or unspecified schizophrenia spectrum and other psychotic disorder.

G. The symptoms are not attributable to the physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or another medical condition (e.g. hypothyroidism).

H. The symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

Specify if:

• With anxious distress

• With mixed features

• With melancholic features

• With atypical features

• With mood-congruent psychotic features

• With mood-incongruent psychotic features

• With péripartum onset

Specify if:

• In partial remission

• In full remission

Specify if:

• Early onset: If onset is before age 21 years.

• Late onset: If onset is at age 21 years or older.

Specify if (for most recent 2 years of persistent depressive disorder):

• With pure dysthymic syndrome: Full criteria for a major depressive episode have not been met in at least the preceding 2 years.

• With persistent major depressive episode: Full criteria for a major depressive episode have been met throughout the preceding 2-year period.

• With intermittent major depressive episodes, with current episode: Full criteria for a major depressive episode are currently met, but there have been periods of at least 8 weeks in at least the preceding 2 years with symptoms below the threshold for a full major depressive episode.

• With intermittent major depressive episodes, without current episode: Full criteria for a major depressive episode are not currently met, but there has been one or more major depressive episodes in at least the preceding 2 years.

Specify current severity:

• Mild

• Moderate

• Severe

  American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425596^

I’m good!

How’s the day treating you?

Like another day in paradise!

How’re you feeling?

Livin’ the Dream!

Why you so quiet today?

I’m tired.

You sick? You don’t seem like yourself today.

Just tired!

You good boss?

Tired.

Ooof you look like hell today? You stay up late partying, you party animal you (laugh)

*Chuckle* Nah just tired today.

I noticed your work / your grade is slipping.

Yeah sorry I’ve just been drained.

How come you’re not the cheery ___ that we know anymore?

(Do they *actually* care?) Oh sorry about that, I’m just tired.

(My soul is tired)

Remember friend,

Giveth makes too many vacancies,

Taketh makes too many secancies.

Balance

~ steady your Grounding ~

The queen rested her head against her throne.

Weary, dreary, and wonderful, her gaze fell on the clown.

Energy flowed through the clown; he wore his most festive face.

The queen smiled [warmed]

The clown danced.

The clown sang.

The clown juggled.

What a marvelous art!

The queen clapped, the queen laughed.

The clown was fulfilled.

The queen forgot misery – forgot pain.

For what else is a clown?

The queen ruled

>

the clown fooled

For what else is a clown?

The queen was pressed to wed. The crowd demanded!

But the queen never needed.

For what else is a clown?

When her hair was blonde, I fell in love.

When her hair was brunette, we fit like a glove

When her hair was fuchsia, we grew.

When her hair was teal - that’s when I knew.

Now her hair is blue,

and my love of her ; born Anew.

Why are eyes considered the windows of the souls? Is it a soul per eye? Or is it periscope into the most internal wants/needs? (Open the hatch!)

Do we say it to level up the Charisma skill?

Do we say it out of pure pretentiousness?

Or do we simply use it to get into a potential lover’s good graces?

(Open the hatch! ;^)

Why does it have to be a window into a soul? Why do we want to see it?

Can’t it simply rest?

Why can’t our soul just be ours? Why does it need to be viewed by others? Can’t we keep a piece of ourselves to ourselves? (Open the hatch!)

Ah Dear Reader!

I found the answer.

We yearn to be

seen

(OPEN THE HATCH!)

We yearn for the understanding .

We yearn for a person to look past the dungeons we keep.

Yet,

We created the Warden.

You know what I love most about poetry? It has many forms and faces - yet can take none of them. It could rhyme, or it could be a mumbling and bumbling train of thoughts and emotions.

I discovered poetry early on in my life. There are many gaps in my memory - due to many a factor (which maybe I’ll talk about, or maybe I won’t).

I can distinctly remember a love struck middle school boy, not knowing how to express the feelings I had in my young heart by any other means other than a poem. I can remember the vulnerability of typing my love, in the dark, on a windows 95 word processor - the light of the screen pushing back the dark of the room, giving me the sense of hope.

I can remember printing it. I remember planning on delivering it to my love and then us blissfully running away and straight towards our forever.

(Ah to dream. To dream and to hope and to have the ability to craft such a wonderful story)

Dear Reader,

as you can imagine the dream and the actuality could never coexist - leaving a boy to be alone.

I think about this often. Why can I not remember simple things, fighting the fog that lives in my head?

Yet

I can remember the laughs of the love and the giggling of the crowd. I can remember the fingers pointing back at me amid the laughter.

I can feel the hurt.

I lost this moment, and for a while lost the passion and creativity. However, little by little, it came back.

And then it was an English Professor (whose name has been lost forever to the fog) from little campus, USA who ignited it. She held about 30 copies of Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein, was a semester away from retirement, and forced us to learn and write poetry.

Thus the hurt of my lost love & embarrassment reopened - but began to heal.

I too think of Professor often:

Did she find joy?

Did she find love?

Did she realize the impact she had?

So alas fair Reader,

This is not a book as you think it:

This is my soul.

And I welcome you into it.